Why?

I'm sure this is a question many have been asking lately.

Why Kelly?
Why again?
Why now?
Why is their so much pain?
Why do bad things have to happen?

I've asked it before and realized that time gradually unfolds a few answers here and there, but ultimately, many questions are often left unanswered.

This time around, the question of "Why?" has been far from my mind. I think a huge part of it is motherhood. It is sanctifying, difficult, joyous and refining work that has helped me grasp and better understand certain characteristics of God, the only One who can answer this burning question.

See, Gavin has been so sick this week with a cold. It pains me to see him restless and uncomfortable, and all I really want is for him to let me help him, comfort him. heal him. I don't want him to question why he should eat his vegetables or why I'm giving him Tylenol or why he needs a nap to feel better. I just want him to trust me. If he fights me and questions me, will we get anywhere? Isn't it so much better if he relaxes into the warmth of my arms and allows me to care for him as only a mother can?

So is our relationship with our great Father. Should we question why? Even if we were to conjure up some answer, we would be reaching for much we do not know of. I think it is right to ask the Lord to show us why in some ways...or maybe, more correctly, how...How we can glorify Him more, how we can learn from this, how we can grow closer to one another and Him.

I once heard that self-pity is demonic. That statement makes me chuckle because as such an artistic spirit, I love introspection and navel-gazing - it makes for great songwriting, that's for sure! But as I come to know the Lord more as my Savior and friend, I realize that he doesn't want me to feel sorry for myself or in sorrow and despair cry out "Why me?"

No, I think he wants me to trust him, to take in each day and each lesson and to serve and love and praise Him in everything, knowing through it all, I am in his care.

He wants to heal me.

And He wants me to relax in the warmth of his arms and allow Him to care for me as only a Father can.

Love,
Marcy